I work with a lady whose daughter got married the other day. I am always looking for a reason to either throw a bachelor party or go to a bachelor party so I asked her if the groom (also known as the poor sap) had a bachelor party. The lady turned on me like a cat hissing when it is backed into a corner and said "No! And he is not going to, either." My response was naturally incredulous. Every man should have a bachelor party. It is a rite of passage.
Thomas Paine's The Rights of Man did not include as part of his treatise man's right to have a bachelor party but that is part of the rights of man. If a man is going to get married, the poor sap should go out kicking and screaming with a beer in one hand and a boob in the other. A bachelor party is a rite of passage for a man and I tried to tell the lady I work with this. By man law, an ex post facto bachelor party is required and mandatory within the first six months of marriage. I told the lady I work with that I would be glad to arrange something for the young man because I still know a few people but she politely declined my offer. I believe her exact words were "No! You stay away from him! He is not having a bachelor party!" It is bad enough that his wife is probably answering for him but now his mother-in-law is too. This man needs a bachelor party!
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Friday, June 3, 2016
The Chalk Outline
I watched a lot of true crime television shows when I was on the mend after my foot surgery and I watched one last night when I got home from work for old time's sake. Someone was killed in this episode and they had drawn a chalk outline of where the body had fallen.
Seeing those chalk outlines made me think of Steve and all of the times he fell at the house. I would like to go around the property one day and draw chalk outlines of all of the places Steve face planted while he was sauced. There would be several in the driveway, a few at the cottage on the hill, a whole lot in the front yard, and several in the house. I would probably be drawing so many chalk outlines it would look like gang warfare had broken out here at the house. Steve could probably form his own gang but he would need to give it some catchy name. A few of the names I came up with are the Suitcase (of beer) Mafia, the Milwaukee's Best Ice Crew or MBIC, and the Budweiser Boys. They all have potential.
Seeing those chalk outlines made me think of Steve and all of the times he fell at the house. I would like to go around the property one day and draw chalk outlines of all of the places Steve face planted while he was sauced. There would be several in the driveway, a few at the cottage on the hill, a whole lot in the front yard, and several in the house. I would probably be drawing so many chalk outlines it would look like gang warfare had broken out here at the house. Steve could probably form his own gang but he would need to give it some catchy name. A few of the names I came up with are the Suitcase (of beer) Mafia, the Milwaukee's Best Ice Crew or MBIC, and the Budweiser Boys. They all have potential.
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