What Happened?

I am still trying to figure out what happened. How did I go from not that guy/that guy/not that guy/dating someone/engaged/not engaged to pre-engaged? Exactly what the hell is pre-engaged? I may never figure out the answers to these two questions. I may not want to know the answer to either of these questions.

I would love to claim innocent bystander status in all of this but it all started with an innocent haircut. I wanted to look good before I hit the strip clubs in Charlotte for a weekend of innocent guy's fun. Maybe I should start a blog called "The Innocent Guy." I have always worn innocence well. Throw in an attractive hair stylist, a discussion of my Longfellow, a little bit of "nookie", and I am a short step away from being on Dr. Phil.

Hanging On

Wanting to be That Guy and being That Guy are two totally different things. I hang on to relationships of any kind much longer than I probably should. I do not deal with loss well. At some point and time, these relationships meant a lot to me. I eventually forgive but I never forget. I believe that is where I am making my mistake. The Chinese philosopher Confucius said "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." In remembering how I have been wronged just keeps bringing back the pain. The how and the when are not really that important in the greater scheme of things.

Will I ever be able to trust them again? I don't know. I do believe trust can be earned back. It all begins with owning your mistake. Saying the right things is good but being the right things is the best option. Do they have the ability and the desire to be what I need them to be? That is up to them.