A Hot Nurse

It finally happened. After seven major surgeries, fifteen procedures, and hundreds of doctor visits, I finally got a hot nurse. It happened when I had my rotator cuff surgery last week. I usually get the nurse that is old, grouchy, and has a goatee better than mine.

The nurse comes downstairs and called out my name. I saw her rounding the corner and I thought "she must be here for someone else." When I heard her call out my name it was shoulder be damned, I jumped over two rows of chairs and a coffee table (a slight exaggeration there) just to make sure she was not going to move on to the next patient.

My nurse was late twenties, very cute, and had a nice body, but of course was married to a Doctor. My relationship was only going to last about four hours with her anyway and about three- fourths of that time I was going to be unconscious, so it really didn't matter. Most guys have a "nurse fantasy" and there are porno websites devoted to such fantasies (not that I have ever seen any of them).

After my surgery was over, the nurse was processing me out so I could leave and she referred to my girlfriend as my "friend" while my girlfriend was sitting there. I do not know what kind of shit I had been talking to the nurse before my girlfriend showed up on the scene but I got to hear about the nurse's comment all the way home. I believe a man should get a free pass for whatever he happens to say while under the influence of anesthesia.

I did learn one harsh reality while I was under "Nurse Goodbody's" care. Just because she is a hot nurse, does not mean she can start an IV. By the time she got done, my hand looked like a pin cushion and she had to call another nurse in to do it for her. A week later my hand is still swollen and hurts like hell from where Nurse Goodbody used it as harpoon practice. As my grandfather used to say "all that glitters ain't gold." My update to that is "but it sure is pretty to look at."