Numbers Part I

A friend and I were talking the other day and the subject of "numbers" came up. Numbers in this context were the number of people that you have slept with. I honestly do not know my number. Numbers were never important to me. I can give a ballpark figure but that is about it. A good friend of mine, who died from cancer three years ago, knew his exact number even though it increased exponentially every time he told the story.

I have no doubt that it was a high number but he wrapped his whole identity up with his number. He was "that guy" in every sense of the word because since he was my roommate for a while, I saw how he treated women the morning after. They would have been better off he would have written them a short note and taped cab fare to their foreheads and he disappear for a while the next morning for the kind of treatment they received.

When I saw him the next day he had to give me the details, none of which I wanted to hear. I would mess with him and talk football or some other sport the entire time and it got quite comical. The conversation would go something like this.

"Did you hear me with that girl last night?"
No. The Panthers play the Vikings today.
Are you sure? We made a lot of noise.
Yes I am sure the Panthers play the Vikings. They have an excellent chance of winning.
She blew me twice.
The Panthers defense may be the best in football.
I took her home this morning and got rid of her.
The kickoff is in about twenty minutes.

I finally decided to somewhat play along so I said, "She blew you, huh?"
He would throw up two fingers and say "Twice!" like that was some sort of sex record and a band should start playing and confetti should fall from the ceiling. We repeated that a few time and every time he would say "twice" I would laugh like hell.