You learn a lot about yourself when your world gets turned upside down. I started working third shift a couple of weeks ago and that demands a complete shift in lifestyle. It was a choice I had been thinking about for a while and after my last surgery, I needed to take a step back and take a closer at where I am and where I am going.
This is not a new debate for me because I have been debating a radical change for quite a while now. I just need to take that leap of faith and trust in myself and my instincts. I have spent my entire "career" with one company and big business being big business, loyalty is rarely rewarded. That place has chewed me up and spit me out. My body and my psyche are bruised and damaged but that I can survive.
This latest surgery on my shoulder was a real eye opener. I found out that I am not bouncing back as fast as I used to. I returned to work four weeks ago and my shoulder is still not one hundred percent. That should really not be a revelation because I am not "ten foot tall and bulletproof" any more in spite of my best efforts.
I decided to scale back my responsibility at work (with some of my company's insistence, of course) and now I am just a "flunky." All I have to do is punch the time clock and I am happy with that. A tremendous weight is off my shoulders and it gives me more time to do what I really want to do, and that is write. Nothing may come of it but life needs to be about what I want to do, rather than what I have to do. I need to live the life I want because existing is not living. It has nothing to do with money because I have found that I really just need the necessities not all of the extras.
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