Steve wore many hats during his time as my roommate and one Saturday morning he thought he would try his hand at "exterior" decorating. I remember one of the Cheers story lines for a short while had Norm Peterson as an interior decorator. He had a flair for interior decorating but he had to act gay in order to attract clientele. Steve didn't have to act drunk because he really was drunk.
I got up this particular Saturday morning and I look out of my living room window and Steve is in the front yard messing around with the lawn furniture. I had two plastic lawn chairs and a table that I had bought on the cheap at Wal~Mart. Steve would move one of the lawn chairs over a couple of feet under a tree and stand back and study the chair intently for a couple of minutes and then he would study the chair at a different angle. He would then position the other lawn chair with it and then the table in between the two. He would adjust them a couple of inches one way or another and then study the set from all angles. It looked like he was getting ready for a tea party but I am sure his brand of tea would have been a special blend of iced tea from Long Island.
When he was finished with his "work" he stood back with a look of pride on his face. I stood at the window watching this the entire time until I could finally stand it no more. I knew better than to ask but I had to find out what the hell he was doing. I leashed my dog Molly and walked outside and casually asked what he was doing.
"I am rearranging the lawn furniture. The creative juices are really flowing today. It looks good, doesn't it? " I don't think it was so much the creative juices as it was the cheap Canadian whiskey he drank.
The sad part was is that Steve was serious. I complemented him on his expert placement of the lawn furniture and I said "Steve, you are a goddamn genius!" In his state of constant inebriation, Steve completely missed the sarcasm. He thought I was serious. I went on to tell him that he had staggered, I mean stumbled, into a new career path, "Steve the Drunk Interior and Exterior Decorator."
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