That Guy: College Advisor

I have been advising a friend of mine's son who just went away to college. He has been gone for about two weeks now, comes home every chance he gets, and has really not made any friends yet. My advice to him was to stay up there on the weekends, go to a few parties, go to a football game, and if things are still bad, go to a strip club. He will be surprised at how many friends he will have when he passes out a stack of singles and spends about an hour in the VIP room. Maybe I should set up a counseling booth like Lucy in the Peanuts comic strip.