Life And Loss

As I have gotten older, life has become more about loss and how to deal with it than anything else. I have lost six friends in nine months and I believe they become more painful with each passing one. Contrary to the times, none have been COVID-19 related. Three died from cancer, one from a genetic heart condition, and two from being lifelone alcoholics. The two dying from alcoholism probably hurt more than anything as I tried to help both of them get the professional help they needed. The odds are astronoimical that I lose that many friends in a years time as I am only in my mid-50's. I have fond memories of all of my friends that I have lost and it is those memories that keep them alive for me. I have thought about them often this year and I tell stories about them frequently and I believe it would make them happy to know that they can still make me laugh. I have often heard that laughter is the best medicine and I have definitely put that to the test over the past nine months.

The Death of Steve

I found out about a month ago that my old roommate "Steve" passed away over a year ago. I wanted to take this opportunity to write a memorial for him because he was a unique character if there ever was one. Most of his legendary exploits revolved around his use of alcohol and God knows I have enough stories to tell. He reminded me a lot of the "Samurai" character that John Belushi played on Saturday Night Live. Steve was an interior decorator, a chef, a dancer, an outdoorsman, and a dog walker. He also specialized in drunken road trips where he did all of the drinking. Steve basically had a good heart and he did the best he could do which I guess is all you can expect from someone. I lost touch with Steve the last couple of years of his life but I don't think he changed much. Dealing with Steve could be a drain at times and could for damn sure be aggravating but I should have done a better job of keeping in touch. Steve knew I wanted to be a writer and he always suggested that I write about him because he was so fascinating. I wrote a lot of stories about him but I don't think he knew it. It is time to cue up AC/DC's "Have a Drink On Me." To Steve! Salud!

Rudolph The Acrobat

Most heavy drinkers are quite acrobatic in their movements and there was one night in particular where Rudolph's skills as an acrobat were on full display. I came home from shopping late one Friday night and Rudolph was just winding up his night's activities. I start unloading the bags of groceries from my car and my roommate was watching Rudolph and suddenly she yelled "He is going to fall."

That caught my attention and right as I looked up and sure enough, Rudolph starts the slow motion dance that only people that are very drunk can do. He tried catching his balance but there was no balance to be had. By the time he made it to the top step, it became time to watch the train wreck. Rudolph had on a bright green shirt so he was easy to watch. He fell down the four steps end-over-end and he hit his head really hard twice. As he lay motionless at the bottom of his steps, my roommate, who is a CNA, yells out "Oh my God! We have to go see if he is okay."

My response was "Oh, hell no. I am not going through this shit again. He is not my problem." She implored me to go with her to check on him as "he might be dead." Once again, it was not my problem but out of humanitarian concerns, I stood at the end of my driveway and I yelled out "Are you OK?" several times until he started stirring at the bottom of the steps. My roommate was already halfway through his yard when he started pulling himself up using the railing on his steps. He was very shaky but very much alive. Problem solved.

The next morning Rudolph did not make it out of the house until about lunchtime but he was moving around better than I was. I believe I need to start drinking what he is drinking.

Just Another Steve

My living circumstances have changed a couple of different times over the course of the past year but one thing seems to remain a constant. The one thing seems to be no matter where I go, I find someone who insists on going thru life sauced. First it was my roommate Steve, and now it is my neighbor Rudolph.

Rudolph is prone to having these drunken fits where he rages against the world on his front porch every night about 9 PM and philosophizes on the meaning of life shortly after his rant. Rudolph then gets the party started by playing bad music while sitting in his car in his driveway and smoking a joint. Sometimes he knocks off his deejaying about 11 but sometimes he is feeling his groove and keeps it going until 2 in the morning.

Rudolph sleeps until 10 AM, he might work for three hours, he takes a five hour nap in the afternoon, and he is ready to go again. It is great work if you can get it. There is an old saying that goes something like "God looks out for drunks and fools" and you must be especially blessed if can wear both of those hats.

Politics And Strip Clubs

Every time an election rolls around, strip clubs and their patrons become easy targets for politicians especially at the local and the state level. The state of Georgia is trying to pass a state amendment that would charge strip clubs a $5000 yearly tax to stay in business. This tax would supposedly go towards helping to stop sex trafficking. Politicians are blaming sex trafficking on strip clubs. The state of California is always after the porn industry even though it brings the state in millions of dollars in tax money. A few years ago the state of Texas tried to institute a "pole tax" that would directly tax strip clubs and their customers.

The politicians need to leave strip clubs alone. If you do not want to go in them, stay home, go to a ball game, do something with your family or whatever. No one is forcing you to go in there. The women I know that work in strip clubs make much better money in there than they could as a cashier at Wal-Mart. If they want to place the blame on anything, blame alcohol for spousal abuse, child abuse, drunk driving, and bring back Prohibition. Let's see how well that would go over.

Nice Guys Finish Last

Legendary Baseball manager Leo Durocher is credited with coming up with the concept of "nice guys finish last." Mr. Durocher believed that nice guys did not have or do all of the dirty work that it took to win games. A lot of people apply that same concept to life. How does that concept apply to me? Am I a nice guy or am I that guy?

Public opinion seems to be mixed on that question but according to most that have weighed in, I am a little bit nice guy and a little bit that guy. How is that combination working for me you ask? Not too good. It seems that the people that I want to think I am a nice guy end up thinking I am that guy and the people that I could care less what they think believe I am a little bit of both. Someone recently advised me to "be myself" and it ended up coming out a combination of nice guy/that guy. That's ok though, because I wouldn't have me any other way.

That Guy: The Mentor

I take my job as a mentor very seriously. Some guys want to be sleazy but they just don't know how. It is my job as That Guy and as a mentor to give these poor saps life advice and point them in the right direction so they can achieve at least some of their sleazy goals.

I had two men come to me the other day for life advice. One is 31 years old, a hard working young man with a good job, one of those glamorous kind of jobs that women should be throwing themselves at him. "Lex" has been ruled by the women in his life, namely his Mom, and has never really had a strong male presence in his life. Enter That Guy. Lex wants to buy a horse and a horse trailer. Lex's mother objects. Lex presented his problem to me and my nemesis "Cream Puff." Cream Puff's advice was to not buy the horse because he may want to get married one day and horses are expensive. Wrong! Marriage is not the answer. Marriage is never the answer. That is why I call my nemesis Cream Puff. My advice was buy the horse, pick up some women along the way, have a good time, and enjoy life. As soon as the women mention a relationship or marriage, throw the women off the horse and move on at a fast gallop.