For the first time in my life last night, I had an automobile accident that was deemed my fault. It was decided that I ran a stop light. I have my doubts but I was honest and told the officer I did not know if I had the green or the red light. I am now going to pay the price for that honesty because the other party was believed and I received the citation.
In the past year I have seen those that lie and cheat prosper and I am no saint but I try to live a life where I treat people as well as I can, I try to be upfront and honest, and do right by people. I have made mistakes, I have committed wrongs, but I tried to admit those mistakes and offer an earnest apology. It seems that I am rewarded for trying to do the right thing with the absolute worst that people have to offer.
I am having a crisis of faith and I am losing complete faith in humanity. It seems that all I can depend on my fellow man for is to do the wrong thing. People that I honestly believed were people of faith have turned out to be the worst. They seem to believe that the rules of morality and human decency do not apply to them. That is very disappointing to me and that seems to be the cause of my crisis of faith.
I do not seek revenge and I do not wish ill will on anyone but when is my faith rewarded? At the end of my life? My spirit is broken and might even be beyond repair. I am not used to this feeling of complete helplessness.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Change
I also wrote a blog that I posted on Molly's World also entitled "Change." I listen to a lot of music and I have very eclectic musical tastes. There are certain songs I can listen to and the lyrics really speak to me. It is almost like they are saying "Dan, I need you to listen to this. This is important. It is going to mean something to you."
I heard an older song the other day by a 1970's group, Little River Band, entitled "Cool Change." There is a line in it that goes:
"Lots of those friendly people
They're showing me ways to go
And I never want to
Lose their inspiration."
A friend of mine has been trying to get me to leave my job for the longest time and now that time is dangerously close. My body is broken and my spirit may even be more broken. The strength of my spirit has never been a problem before. They are slowly but surely breaking my spirit. My spirit has always really been strong.
I want to make it through the next three or four months until I have my next surgery. My circumstances dictate that I need to stay there through the end of the year. I will have to bite a lot of bullets during that time. Keep my mouth closed, be non-confrontational, and stay focused on doing my job. One day at a time.
The only problem with this whole scenario is that I really do not have a backup plan. I know I want to write but that is a very hard way to make a living and I may have the slight opening that I need to get started. It is a free lance writing job but right now, I need to focus on building up any kind of writing resume.
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." I need to change directions.
I heard an older song the other day by a 1970's group, Little River Band, entitled "Cool Change." There is a line in it that goes:
"Lots of those friendly people
They're showing me ways to go
And I never want to
Lose their inspiration."
A friend of mine has been trying to get me to leave my job for the longest time and now that time is dangerously close. My body is broken and my spirit may even be more broken. The strength of my spirit has never been a problem before. They are slowly but surely breaking my spirit. My spirit has always really been strong.
I want to make it through the next three or four months until I have my next surgery. My circumstances dictate that I need to stay there through the end of the year. I will have to bite a lot of bullets during that time. Keep my mouth closed, be non-confrontational, and stay focused on doing my job. One day at a time.
The only problem with this whole scenario is that I really do not have a backup plan. I know I want to write but that is a very hard way to make a living and I may have the slight opening that I need to get started. It is a free lance writing job but right now, I need to focus on building up any kind of writing resume.
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." I need to change directions.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Mr. Potato Head
My roommate is finally gone and I have a two bedroom apartment to myself. The silence is almost deafening. I keep trying to talk my landlord into putting in a hot tub so I can have some small scale, Hugh Hefner type parties here. My landlord's wife thinks I would turn it into something sleazy so she quickly vetoed the idea.
I have been sitting here looking at the beautiful green, tree covered landscape of Butt Mountain (and I am not making up the name of it) and trying to put my life in perspective. Sometimes that is a very hard thing to do. The past year has not been easy on me and it has taken its toll both physically and mentally. I am still facing two more surgeries before the end of the year. I am missing more parts than Mr. Potato Head.
Friends and family keep asking me about my future. I do not plan that far in advance any more. As Stephen King said in his novel 11/22/1963, "life turns on a dime." I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing a month from now much less anything farther out than that. It seems that everyone I come in contact with is trying to make sure that I am six feet under by then anyway. Life is short and needs to be lived, savor the good moments, and put the bad behind you as quickly as possible.
I remember what a man I used to work with told me one time. His family was tremendously wealthy. His father had built a business and was a multi-millionaire, his sister (who was smokin' hot by the way) had married a big time Hollywood Director/Producer, and his other sister had married a contractor who was also a millionaire and Sam changed oil for a living and had to make his own beef jerky and sell it to help make ends meet. I was teasing him about it one day and I said "Fred, you're family is worth millions. What happened to you?" He told me "I come to work everyday, treat everyone is well as I can, and at night, I sleep like a baby." He was right.
I have been sitting here looking at the beautiful green, tree covered landscape of Butt Mountain (and I am not making up the name of it) and trying to put my life in perspective. Sometimes that is a very hard thing to do. The past year has not been easy on me and it has taken its toll both physically and mentally. I am still facing two more surgeries before the end of the year. I am missing more parts than Mr. Potato Head.
Friends and family keep asking me about my future. I do not plan that far in advance any more. As Stephen King said in his novel 11/22/1963, "life turns on a dime." I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing a month from now much less anything farther out than that. It seems that everyone I come in contact with is trying to make sure that I am six feet under by then anyway. Life is short and needs to be lived, savor the good moments, and put the bad behind you as quickly as possible.
I remember what a man I used to work with told me one time. His family was tremendously wealthy. His father had built a business and was a multi-millionaire, his sister (who was smokin' hot by the way) had married a big time Hollywood Director/Producer, and his other sister had married a contractor who was also a millionaire and Sam changed oil for a living and had to make his own beef jerky and sell it to help make ends meet. I was teasing him about it one day and I said "Fred, you're family is worth millions. What happened to you?" He told me "I come to work everyday, treat everyone is well as I can, and at night, I sleep like a baby." He was right.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Every Picture Tells A Story
A blog I posted several days ago about my "addiction" to these dating websites as initiated quite a bit of debate among my female friends and I. I have a girlfriend now and I should take my profile down. I know that. I am not "active" on this website, I am not trolling for one night stands or anything like that.The women's profiles on this dating website make me laugh and have become an inspiration for many of my posts on this blog.
This one woman's profile I saw on there yesterday needed to go viral. Her picture was obviously her mug shot and she used the caption "Waiting" for the picture. Waiting on what? Bail money? I lost it when I saw this. I would love to hear about what kind of attention she gets from that profile.
I really have to wonder if these women even look at their pics before they post them on there. I am not photogenic and I had to search far and wide to find at least one flattering pic of myself I could put on there. I know these women could do the same. There has to be one picture out there where you don't have a mustache or a goatee, you don't look like an axe murderer, or you don't look like a patient at a mental hospital. At least one picture. That is all you need.
This one woman's profile I saw on there yesterday needed to go viral. Her picture was obviously her mug shot and she used the caption "Waiting" for the picture. Waiting on what? Bail money? I lost it when I saw this. I would love to hear about what kind of attention she gets from that profile.
I really have to wonder if these women even look at their pics before they post them on there. I am not photogenic and I had to search far and wide to find at least one flattering pic of myself I could put on there. I know these women could do the same. There has to be one picture out there where you don't have a mustache or a goatee, you don't look like an axe murderer, or you don't look like a patient at a mental hospital. At least one picture. That is all you need.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
The North Carolina Tarheels Were Our Bond
My father was tough on me growing up. I was the oldest son and I believe he was tougher on me than he was my brother and my two sisters. My father and I were very different people. He was a man of the outdoors and I preferred reading a good book to holding a fishing pole in my hands.
The one thing that my father and I were able to bond over was the North Carolina Tarheels, especially the basketball team. Pops had been following the Tarheels since the 1957 Championship team of Head Coach Frank McGuire and Lennie Rosenbluth. He and I disagreed on Dean Smith as a Coach. He thought Coach Smith was a great innovator and teacher but lousy at the X's and O's during a game. I thought Coach Smith was the standard at which all other coach's should be measured.
Growing up I was regaled with stories of Billy Cunningham (my Dad's favorite player), Charlie Scott, Bob McAdoo, Phil Ford, and Mike O'Koren. I remember watching Phil Ford and Mike O'Koren play and Pops and I watched the 1982 Championship game together and we celebrated when they won it all. It was more about the basketball than it was the football and we watched as many games as possible together. Pops passed away in 2007 and when the Tarheels won it again in 2009, there was a big element missing for me and that was Pops wasn't there to celebrate.
I hardly ever missed a Tarheel basketball game until Pops passed away in the middle of the 2006-07 season. He passed away at the end of January and I don't think I watched a game for the rest of that season. The excitement just wasn't there any more and even eight years later, it is not as exciting as it used to be. Happy Father's Day, Pops! I miss watching the games with you.
The one thing that my father and I were able to bond over was the North Carolina Tarheels, especially the basketball team. Pops had been following the Tarheels since the 1957 Championship team of Head Coach Frank McGuire and Lennie Rosenbluth. He and I disagreed on Dean Smith as a Coach. He thought Coach Smith was a great innovator and teacher but lousy at the X's and O's during a game. I thought Coach Smith was the standard at which all other coach's should be measured.
Growing up I was regaled with stories of Billy Cunningham (my Dad's favorite player), Charlie Scott, Bob McAdoo, Phil Ford, and Mike O'Koren. I remember watching Phil Ford and Mike O'Koren play and Pops and I watched the 1982 Championship game together and we celebrated when they won it all. It was more about the basketball than it was the football and we watched as many games as possible together. Pops passed away in 2007 and when the Tarheels won it again in 2009, there was a big element missing for me and that was Pops wasn't there to celebrate.
I hardly ever missed a Tarheel basketball game until Pops passed away in the middle of the 2006-07 season. He passed away at the end of January and I don't think I watched a game for the rest of that season. The excitement just wasn't there any more and even eight years later, it is not as exciting as it used to be. Happy Father's Day, Pops! I miss watching the games with you.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
I Am Free
Freedom. You have nothing holding you back and nothing weighing you down. You are not obligated to anything or anyone. It is a powerful feeling. There are many things in life you can become free from. You can become free from bad relationships, free from jobs, and free from anything that is weighing you down. In this case, I am free from a bad roommate. I did not realize he was a bad roommate until after he was gone. Now that he is gone, I feel such a tremendous sense of relief and freedom. He was a burden I did not realize I even had.
My mind is free and clear and I am thinking with such clarity right now. I do not have to be back at work for two and a half more weeks now and it is time to get some productive writing done. I can actually finish a complete thought now without being interrupted by the nonsensical conversation of an alcoholic roommate. Martin Luther King was right. "Free at last, free at last! Thank God almighty, I am free at last."
My mind is free and clear and I am thinking with such clarity right now. I do not have to be back at work for two and a half more weeks now and it is time to get some productive writing done. I can actually finish a complete thought now without being interrupted by the nonsensical conversation of an alcoholic roommate. Martin Luther King was right. "Free at last, free at last! Thank God almighty, I am free at last."
Friday, June 19, 2015
99 Words For Boobs
I think I found my theme song for the Sleaze Triathlon. It is a song called "99 Words for Boobs" done to the tune of "99 Red Balloons" by Nena. It is a great song and also highly informative. I learned a lot. The video starts out kind of slow but it picks up strength in the middle. I do have to wonder why there is an odd number of boobs unless they are referring to 99 pairs of boobs. That must be it. I don't think I see 99 great pairs of boobs throughout the course of my day, especially now that I am out injured for a while, but it is not for lack of looking.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
The Sleaze Triathlon
In my last post, I mentioned an event I would like to call the "Sleaze Triathlon." It would be a combination of a Wet T-shirt contest, a mud/jello wrestling competition, and I believe I would change the third event to a Pole Dancing competition. The wet t-shirt contest would be something along the lines of the ice bucket challenge. The water needs to be ice cold to bring out the best in the competitors. Jello wrestling would be preferable over mud wrestling because it is more colorful and less messy. It is also edible. The scoring for the pole dancing competition would be based on dancing, a minimum amount of pole tricks, and stage presence.
They hold triathlons all of the time but any clown can run, bicycle, and swim. The Sleaze Triathlon would show case the athleticism, strength, and the beauty and creativity of the big busted woman. No Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner's allowed.
They hold triathlons all of the time but any clown can run, bicycle, and swim. The Sleaze Triathlon would show case the athleticism, strength, and the beauty and creativity of the big busted woman. No Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner's allowed.
My Muse
On the television show Castle, Nathan Fillion's character Richard Castle follows detective Kate Beckett around and uses her as his "muse" so he can get inspiration from her. I don't know if there are any rules or a handbook on how to pick out a muse but my psychotic rants have evidently drawn the attention of several women wanting to take credit for it. If my massive following on Google Plus of 17 ever grows any, being my muse may mean something, but right now, it is not really a lucrative position.
I do really appreciate those that have volunteered to take credit and I hope they realize that most of it is a product of my extremely warped sense of humor. Maybe my should be the winner of a wet t-shirt contest. Maybe I should hold a "Sleaze Triathlon." The overall winner of a wet t-shirt contest, mud wrestling, and jello wrestling gets to be my muse. Now that is what I call inspiration.
I draw my inspiration from lots of things. Some come from personal experience, some come from experiences that have been related to me, while others are a product of my sometimes overactive imagination. I believe that is why many that read my blog see my blog as pure fiction, especially the parts that are based on my version of the truth.
I do really appreciate those that have volunteered to take credit and I hope they realize that most of it is a product of my extremely warped sense of humor. Maybe my should be the winner of a wet t-shirt contest. Maybe I should hold a "Sleaze Triathlon." The overall winner of a wet t-shirt contest, mud wrestling, and jello wrestling gets to be my muse. Now that is what I call inspiration.
I draw my inspiration from lots of things. Some come from personal experience, some come from experiences that have been related to me, while others are a product of my sometimes overactive imagination. I believe that is why many that read my blog see my blog as pure fiction, especially the parts that are based on my version of the truth.
Friday, June 12, 2015
Addictions
Addictions can take the strangest forms. There are the usual suspects- alcohol, drugs, even sex. My addictions are a little bit different. I am addicted to dating websites. I still have a profile up on a few even though I have had a girlfriend for about eight months. My profile is about as vanilla and generic as it gets. My girlfriend knows nothing about it and she would probably be pissed if she found out. I cannot say I would blame her.
I am not even "active" on them any more but I still find myself trolling them once in a while. These dating websites and the women on them make me laugh. People enjoy lying to themselves or they enjoy lying to strangers, take your pick. Maybe they are just trying to get their foot in the door, charm the pants off of them (literally), and take it (or leave it) from there.
I do not care what anyone says, 90% of the attraction is physical. The profiles that make me laugh the most are the one's that say of you are looking for a one night stand, pass them by. Then in their profile pics, they have boob shots, bikini shots, or shots of them in the tightest pants possible, showing off their ass. No sexual imagery there.
Then there are those that have pics on there that are blurry or old (one woman has a pic on there that is dated 2001), pictures of them with men, and one woman even had some wedding pictures on there. Exactly what message are they trying to send? They spout visions of honesty, romance, and soul mates or forever partners. I guess spouting images of neurosis, psychosis, or even halitosis would be a real turn off. They want you to have a good job because they usually don't. When I need a good laugh, I troll the dating websites.
One more thing before I go. What is up with the women in the Greenville, SC area? Are there no men down there that are worth anything. At least 75% of the women I encounter are from that area. They either want to escape from down there or they have already plowed through the qualified dating candidates. Based on my passed experiences, if I become single again, I would have to pass on anyone from that area. No offense to anyone but....
I am not even "active" on them any more but I still find myself trolling them once in a while. These dating websites and the women on them make me laugh. People enjoy lying to themselves or they enjoy lying to strangers, take your pick. Maybe they are just trying to get their foot in the door, charm the pants off of them (literally), and take it (or leave it) from there.
I do not care what anyone says, 90% of the attraction is physical. The profiles that make me laugh the most are the one's that say of you are looking for a one night stand, pass them by. Then in their profile pics, they have boob shots, bikini shots, or shots of them in the tightest pants possible, showing off their ass. No sexual imagery there.
Then there are those that have pics on there that are blurry or old (one woman has a pic on there that is dated 2001), pictures of them with men, and one woman even had some wedding pictures on there. Exactly what message are they trying to send? They spout visions of honesty, romance, and soul mates or forever partners. I guess spouting images of neurosis, psychosis, or even halitosis would be a real turn off. They want you to have a good job because they usually don't. When I need a good laugh, I troll the dating websites.
One more thing before I go. What is up with the women in the Greenville, SC area? Are there no men down there that are worth anything. At least 75% of the women I encounter are from that area. They either want to escape from down there or they have already plowed through the qualified dating candidates. Based on my passed experiences, if I become single again, I would have to pass on anyone from that area. No offense to anyone but....
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Microbreweries Versus Strip Clubs
The Hendersonville planning board voted to allow microbreweries in downtown Hendersonville and now it just has to be voted on by the Hendersonville Town Council. This reverses a decision that the town council made a few years ago banning microbreweries from the downtown area. The reversal of this ban is entirely monetary. The commonly held belief is that Hendersonville is losing money to Asheville and all of it's microbreweries, it is losing tax money, and more tourism dollars.
Several years ago the Hendersonville Town Council heard a rumor that someone was going to apply for a permit to open a strip club. The Town Council rushed some laws through that would make it virtually impossible for anyone to open a strip club or even want to open a strip club. I wonder if the Town Council will reverse that ban? I think I should apply to open a microbrewery/strip club and put it right on Main Street, Hendersonville.
It is legal for women to go around topless in downtown Asheville. They have a rally every year during the summer to prove how legal it is. You will see the saggiest, hairiest, ugliest titties you will ever see, during this rally. There is one strip club in the city of Asheville and they have so many rules and regulations, they practically have to have a lawyer present when they open the doors. Yet it would be legal for a group of women to stand out in that parking lot topless as long as men were not paying to see it. The dancers cannot even stand outside in the parking lot and smoke, but a group of topless women can stand out there and it be perfectly legal. What is the difference? Strip clubs are discriminated against. People can go out and drink themselves senseless but God knows we would hate to have a man get a lap dance.
Several years ago the Hendersonville Town Council heard a rumor that someone was going to apply for a permit to open a strip club. The Town Council rushed some laws through that would make it virtually impossible for anyone to open a strip club or even want to open a strip club. I wonder if the Town Council will reverse that ban? I think I should apply to open a microbrewery/strip club and put it right on Main Street, Hendersonville.
It is legal for women to go around topless in downtown Asheville. They have a rally every year during the summer to prove how legal it is. You will see the saggiest, hairiest, ugliest titties you will ever see, during this rally. There is one strip club in the city of Asheville and they have so many rules and regulations, they practically have to have a lawyer present when they open the doors. Yet it would be legal for a group of women to stand out in that parking lot topless as long as men were not paying to see it. The dancers cannot even stand outside in the parking lot and smoke, but a group of topless women can stand out there and it be perfectly legal. What is the difference? Strip clubs are discriminated against. People can go out and drink themselves senseless but God knows we would hate to have a man get a lap dance.
Friday, June 5, 2015
The Value Of Platonic Friendships
I really value my platonic friendships and I have many of those. Contrary to popular belief, I do not want to sleep with every woman that I am friends with. The "friends with benefits" scenario was never that beneficial to me. My platonic friends have helped me through many of my relationship struggles and have quite often come to my defense when some of those relationships went bad. My platonic friends know me better than the women that I go out with and they know what kind of person I am.
I know this is going to come as a complete surprise to some, but I do have a sense of morality and I try to treat people as well as I can. One of the reasons that my platonic friends and I get along so well is because we do not have the pressure of being in a relationship because whether anyone wants to admit it or not, relationships change things. They change attitudes and actions and sometimes whole personalities. I would rather keep a lifelong platonic friendship than ruin it with a temporary relationship.
I know this is going to come as a complete surprise to some, but I do have a sense of morality and I try to treat people as well as I can. One of the reasons that my platonic friends and I get along so well is because we do not have the pressure of being in a relationship because whether anyone wants to admit it or not, relationships change things. They change attitudes and actions and sometimes whole personalities. I would rather keep a lifelong platonic friendship than ruin it with a temporary relationship.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Shutting Down
Last night as I was laying in bed contemplating the meaning of life I decided that my body is broken and my spirit is crushed. I cannot even roll over in bed any more without a body part screaming in pain. I look like a turtle trying to flop off it's back. My spirit has been crushed by family and friends, some of whom I consider in my inner circle.
I do not know how to go about repairing my body or my spirit. I do not know if they are repairable. There are nights I lay there hoping that the Grim Reaper will come to summon me in the middle of the night. I do see the Grim Reaper as being a smoking hot brunette dressed in leather, kind of dominatrix style, with a great body. If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big- preferably 36 DDD big.
I do not know how to go about repairing my body or my spirit. I do not know if they are repairable. There are nights I lay there hoping that the Grim Reaper will come to summon me in the middle of the night. I do see the Grim Reaper as being a smoking hot brunette dressed in leather, kind of dominatrix style, with a great body. If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big- preferably 36 DDD big.
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