Someone asked me the other day why I did not talk about my only niece much. Niece's are much harder to be a bad influence on. As an uncle, you almost feel guilty about it. I took my responsibilities as an uncle very seriously. I let my nephews know early on that they were there for my amusement and we took it from there. It was my duty to get them into trouble and laugh like hell when they did.
This philosophy did have its drawbacks especially when they got to be of school age. If my nephews farted in church or some other public place, Uncle Dan got a phone call. When they said a cuss word or flipped someone off while there parents were driving down the road, Uncle Dan got a phone call. My favorite had to be when one of my nephews taught his kindergarten class how to play "pull my finger" during "show and tell" one day. I was a proud uncle because he just wanted to share his wealth of knowledge with his classmates. I still got a phone call.
As they got older, I was able to introduce them to the real world or at last the sleazier side of it. I got to take them to their first Hooter's and their first strip club. One of my nephews was so paranoid about his first Hooter's trip that he tossed his "to go" box of perfectly good Hooter's wings out of his car window on the way home because he was afraid his Mom would find out. I still got a phone call.
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